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Should You Look Before You Leap?


If this hasn’t happened to you, you’ve at least known someone or read a book or something where it does happen: two people meet, instantly fall in love and then do something extreme, whether it’s dropping their whole lives and running away to Iceland together or simply getting married. Sounds totally romantic, I know. Or does it?

I’m of two minds about this one, probably because I’ve been there. In my younger, yet equally head strong, days, I completely lost it over a man who was 15 years older than me. We’d been dating for just three months when in a flurry of emotion I sublet my amazing apartment, packed my bags and moved in with him.

Everything was going well, for about a month, and then he attacked me. Physically. Though I can talk about it now, at the time my whole world literally fell apart. I felt unloved, I was homeless, and I had no trust in my feelings or instincts. I was a stranger to myself. It was sudden and it was intense.

Should I have been more discerning about what could possibly lie ahead? Perhaps. But seeing as how I did make it out alive, I’m not sure if I would do things any differently if I could go back. Sometimes putting a buffer on happenstances of the heart like this also puts a buffer on the amount of emotion you get to experience.

The reasoning behind leaping before looking is really not very complicated. You can’t have all the good without risking getting some of the bad. And they don’t sacrifice the good for the sake of saving themselves from the potential bad. Doing otherwise could leave you with nothing more than middle ground. Life’s just too short to not risk some extremes from time to time.

That said, there is another side to this coin. So maybe I really am all about following your heart, even if it’s leading you to some unexpected places off of your chosen path. But there’s a difference between having a chance encounter with someone amazing who ends up being a once-in-a-lifetime, drop everything and go for it lover and being someone who habitually thrives on the drama of falling in and out of love.

Like everything, there are two sides to this debate. Sure, I’m all in favor of following one’s heart, especially if it leads you to some unexpected places away from your chosen path. But there is a world of difference between being someone who has a chance encounter with someone amazing and someone who makes it a habit of thriving on the drama of falling in and out of love.

If it makes some people happy to live like this then that’s all well and good. What isn’t okay is the mess they leave behind when they, once again, pull up stakes. When one sets up a life, others get pulled into that life; friends, coworkers, lovers, neighbors and pets. When the next “soulmate” comes along and they drop everything, they’re leaving a lot of people in their wake who are going to be missing them when they’re gone.

It’s a rare thing full of unspeakable joy when you fall in love hard, fast and intense. You simply have to go for it. And if you’re really lucky, and you’ve had some experience, perhaps you’ll master doing so and keeping the rest of your life intact without having to sacrifice any of love’s intensity.

This article was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds of professional dating articles. Grab a totally unique version of this article from the Uber Article Directory

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This entry was posted on Monday, November 9th, 2009 at 4:18 am and is filed under Healthy Lifestyle. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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If this hasn’t happened to you, you’ve at least known someone or read a book or something where it does happen: two people meet, instantly fall in love and then do something extreme, whether it’s dropping their whole lives and running away to Iceland together or simply getting married. Sounds totally romantic, I know. Or does it?

I’m of two minds about this one, probably because I’ve been there. In my younger, yet equally head strong, days, I completely lost it over a man who was 15 years older than me. We’d been dating for just three months when in a flurry of emotion I sublet my amazing apartment, packed my bags and moved in with him.

Everything was going well, for about a month, and then he attacked me. Physically. Though I can talk about it now, at the time my whole world literally fell apart. I felt unloved, I was homeless, and I had no trust in my feelings or instincts. I was a stranger to myself. It was sudden and it was intense.

Should I have been more discerning about what could possibly lie ahead? Perhaps. But seeing as how I did make it out alive, I’m not sure if I would do things any differently if I could go back. Sometimes putting a buffer on happenstances of the heart like this also puts a buffer on the amount of emotion you get to experience.

The reasoning behind leaping before looking is really not very complicated. You can’t have all the good without risking getting some of the bad. And they don’t sacrifice the good for the sake of saving themselves from the potential bad. Doing otherwise could leave you with nothing more than middle ground. Life’s just too short to not risk some extremes from time to time.

That said, there is another side to this coin. So maybe I really am all about following your heart, even if it’s leading you to some unexpected places off of your chosen path. But there’s a difference between having a chance encounter with someone amazing who ends up being a once-in-a-lifetime, drop everything and go for it lover and being someone who habitually thrives on the drama of falling in and out of love.

Like everything, there are two sides to this debate. Sure, I’m all in favor of following one’s heart, especially if it leads you to some unexpected places away from your chosen path. But there is a world of difference between being someone who has a chance encounter with someone amazing and someone who makes it a habit of thriving on the drama of falling in and out of love.

If it makes some people happy to live like this then that’s all well and good. What isn’t okay is the mess they leave behind when they, once again, pull up stakes. When one sets up a life, others get pulled into that life; friends, coworkers, lovers, neighbors and pets. When the next “soulmate” comes along and they drop everything, they’re leaving a lot of people in their wake who are going to be missing them when they’re gone.

It’s a rare thing full of unspeakable joy when you fall in love hard, fast and intense. You simply have to go for it. And if you’re really lucky, and you’ve had some experience, perhaps you’ll master doing so and keeping the rest of your life intact without having to sacrifice any of love’s intensity.

This article was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds of professional dating articles. Grab a totally unique version of this article from the Uber Article Directory

Related Reading:

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If this hasn’t happened to you, you’ve at least known someone or read a book or something where it does happen: two people meet, instantly fall in love and then do something extreme, whether it’s dropping their whole lives and running away to Iceland together or simply getting married. Sounds totally romantic, I know. Or does it?

I’m of two minds about this one, probably because I’ve been there. In my younger, yet equally head strong, days, I completely lost it over a man who was 15 years older than me. We’d been dating for just three months when in a flurry of emotion I sublet my amazing apartment, packed my bags and moved in with him.

Everything was going well, for about a month, and then he attacked me. Physically. Though I can talk about it now, at the time my whole world literally fell apart. I felt unloved, I was homeless, and I had no trust in my feelings or instincts. I was a stranger to myself. It was sudden and it was intense.

Should I have been more discerning about what could possibly lie ahead? Perhaps. But seeing as how I did make it out alive, I’m not sure if I would do things any differently if I could go back. Sometimes putting a buffer on happenstances of the heart like this also puts a buffer on the amount of emotion you get to experience.

The reasoning behind leaping before looking is really not very complicated. You can’t have all the good without risking getting some of the bad. And they don’t sacrifice the good for the sake of saving themselves from the potential bad. Doing otherwise could leave you with nothing more than middle ground. Life’s just too short to not risk some extremes from time to time.

That said, there is another side to this coin. So maybe I really am all about following your heart, even if it’s leading you to some unexpected places off of your chosen path. But there’s a difference between having a chance encounter with someone amazing who ends up being a once-in-a-lifetime, drop everything and go for it lover and being someone who habitually thrives on the drama of falling in and out of love.

Like everything, there are two sides to this debate. Sure, I’m all in favor of following one’s heart, especially if it leads you to some unexpected places away from your chosen path. But there is a world of difference between being someone who has a chance encounter with someone amazing and someone who makes it a habit of thriving on the drama of falling in and out of love.

If it makes some people happy to live like this then that’s all well and good. What isn’t okay is the mess they leave behind when they, once again, pull up stakes. When one sets up a life, others get pulled into that life; friends, coworkers, lovers, neighbors and pets. When the next “soulmate” comes along and they drop everything, they’re leaving a lot of people in their wake who are going to be missing them when they’re gone.

It’s a rare thing full of unspeakable joy when you fall in love hard, fast and intense. You simply have to go for it. And if you’re really lucky, and you’ve had some experience, perhaps you’ll master doing so and keeping the rest of your life intact without having to sacrifice any of love’s intensity.

This article was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds of professional dating articles. Grab a totally unique version of this article from the Uber Article Directory

Related Reading:

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