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I’m all about standing your ground for what you think is best for you. I’m all about making decisions for your life and not always yielding to what your partner thinks is best. But regardless of how kick-ass and self-efficient you are about your life, when you make the decision to be in a serious relationship or marriage with another person, there are certain decisions that now have an effect on their lives as well.

That compromise includes consulting your partner about decisions that will affect him or her. This in no way makes you weak or co-dependent. Discussing things with your partner before making a decision is just the smart thing to do.

Here are a few things you should definitely consult your sweetie about before going forward with:

Contraception

Whether it’s going on or off birth control, or getting your tubes tied, any moves that affect your ability to get pregnant should definitely be discussed with the other part of your partnership. It may be your body but if you’re having intimate relations they definitely have a vested interest.

Leftover food

You know, I wouldn’t think that my boyfriend wants to eat the last three bites of Chinese takeout from 3 days ago but the minute I throw it out? Oh man, he wants it. He wants it so badly, you would think it was golden lo mein. The bottom line: if it’s not yours, always ask before throwing it away.

Buying big ticket items

Even if your last name is Rockefeller or Hilton, running your plans for big ticket items like cars, houses and boats past your significant other is just good relationship strategy.

Adding to the family

I know how tempting it is when you’re picking up fish food at the pet store and the evil puppy adoption people are there, breaking your heart with those little faces. Or, you know, when you’re volunteering at a refugee camp between filming movies and your life partner is hanging with the other kids and you see this orphan who just melts your heart? I know how it is. But really, don’t bring home any new family members without the okay of your pre-existing family member.

Getting a tattoo

With their name on it. Enough said.

Wiping out the Tivo

Just because you think he or she watched the most recent Curb Your Enthusiasm doesn’t mean they actually have. This is a fast track to World War III, my friends.

This article was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read thousands of professional dating articles. Get a totally unique version of this article from our article submission service

We’ve all been there: that weird little limbo between “together” and “broken up”, when two people kind of know they have problems but are not yet at the point of wanting to admit that they want out.

Though the two people involved will present a united front to the outside world. But internally; well, that’s a whole other story because there almost anything goes, and it’s kid of scary! Let’s examine the inner turmoil.

While you’re going through the “in between” stage, your detachment from your partner becomes greater and greater. As that distance lengthens, your thoughts change from one of being part of a couple to one of a single person.

Here are three things to look for. If you recognize yourself in these, it’s time for a possibly uncomfortable talk with your partner. Do otherwise and you run the risk of actually acting like you’re a free agent before you become one.

1. You’re checking out other people

And the thing is, you’re not doing it just for fun. You’re checking out other people and thinking about what it would be like to approach them. You fantasize (albeit briefly) about how you’d be with them instead. You compare what you have with what you could have with this other person. All clear signs that you have mentally checked out of your current relationship.

Let’s face it; if you spend more time contemplating “what if” with other potential mates it’s not a stretch to deduce that you aren’t satisfied with what you have.

2. You’d rather be alone

Remember when you used to have a really hard day at work and your focus was getting home and cuddling with your partner? Now however, that’s just another “thing” on your to do list. It’s become something else you have to deal with. You’d rather just be alone.

Now I’m all for couples having separate time for themselves. I believe it recharges even the happiest relationships is each go their own way for small periods of time. If you cannot find comfort in your lover’s arms in times of stress, then you need to take a good hard look at what you’re still doing there.

3. Your plans are only for you

There was a time, not too long ago, that thoughts of breaking up were the farthest thing from your mind. All your plans, whether they be immediate or more long term, included the two of you; smiling and happy.

Once a relationship starts hitting some bumpy patches and you realize that, shock!, you are actually shakable, the future becomes a little less certain. And if things get really bad, to the point where you’ve gone back and forth contemplating ending things, you might find that you’ve mentally erased them from your plans. Maybe you didn’t even realize you were doing it. In cases like these, your subconscious has pretty much made up your mind for you.

This article was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds of professional dating articles. Get a totally unique version of this article from our article submission service

If this hasn’t happened to you, you’ve at least known someone or read a book or something where it does happen: two people meet, instantly fall in love and then do something extreme, whether it’s dropping their whole lives and running away to Iceland together or simply getting married. Sounds totally romantic, I know. Or does it?

I’m of two minds about this one, probably because I’ve been there. In my younger, yet equally head strong, days, I completely lost it over a man who was 15 years older than me. We’d been dating for just three months when in a flurry of emotion I sublet my amazing apartment, packed my bags and moved in with him.

Everything was going well, for about a month, and then he attacked me. Physically. Though I can talk about it now, at the time my whole world literally fell apart. I felt unloved, I was homeless, and I had no trust in my feelings or instincts. I was a stranger to myself. It was sudden and it was intense.

Should I have been more discerning about what could possibly lie ahead? Perhaps. But seeing as how I did make it out alive, I’m not sure if I would do things any differently if I could go back. Sometimes putting a buffer on happenstances of the heart like this also puts a buffer on the amount of emotion you get to experience.

The reasoning behind leaping before looking is really not very complicated. You can’t have all the good without risking getting some of the bad. And they don’t sacrifice the good for the sake of saving themselves from the potential bad. Doing otherwise could leave you with nothing more than middle ground. Life’s just too short to not risk some extremes from time to time.

That said, there is another side to this coin. So maybe I really am all about following your heart, even if it’s leading you to some unexpected places off of your chosen path. But there’s a difference between having a chance encounter with someone amazing who ends up being a once-in-a-lifetime, drop everything and go for it lover and being someone who habitually thrives on the drama of falling in and out of love.

Like everything, there are two sides to this debate. Sure, I’m all in favor of following one’s heart, especially if it leads you to some unexpected places away from your chosen path. But there is a world of difference between being someone who has a chance encounter with someone amazing and someone who makes it a habit of thriving on the drama of falling in and out of love.

If it makes some people happy to live like this then that’s all well and good. What isn’t okay is the mess they leave behind when they, once again, pull up stakes. When one sets up a life, others get pulled into that life; friends, coworkers, lovers, neighbors and pets. When the next “soulmate” comes along and they drop everything, they’re leaving a lot of people in their wake who are going to be missing them when they’re gone.

It’s a rare thing full of unspeakable joy when you fall in love hard, fast and intense. You simply have to go for it. And if you’re really lucky, and you’ve had some experience, perhaps you’ll master doing so and keeping the rest of your life intact without having to sacrifice any of love’s intensity.

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So, you’ve recently come out of a long term relationship and you’ve decided it’s time to start anew. You’re going to date! Congratulations! Have you thought about your strategy? Are you going to let your friends set you up with someone, are you going to dive into the bar scene, or perhaps you’re considering internet dating?

Something else to consider is whether or not you should take some time off and just think about if you even want to start dating again right away. If you do decide to take a dating break, how are you going to get back into the swing of things?

Once you’re made the decision to start dating again, here are some tips to help you along;

1.Consider attending venues that you haven’t attended in the past. You need to try something new to keep your dating options at their max. Try political rallies, free concerts and networking events. Singles from all walks of life attend these events, and you’ll have a built in conversation starter.

2. Despite what everyone says about blind dates, sometimes others really do know best. If a friend, family member or co-worker wants to set you up on a blind date, go for it! You just never know!

3. Consider attending religious services. No matter your faith, there’s no denying that faith draws people together; you’d be surprised at the number of singles that attend services. While your feeding your soul, get involved in the activities from mentoring kids to study groups.

4. Economic times being what they are, charitable organizations like your local food bank are always looking for volunteers. So put your do gooder skills to work. You’ll have the chance to meet a whole new group of people.

5. Consider joining an internet dating service. There are sites based on religion, sexual orientation, body size; in short, there’s bound to be one that suits your needs. A word of caution; use caution when communicating with someone you’ve never met. And when you do meet in person, pick a public spot.

6. Go out with a group of friends or co-workers and have a good time. This can boost your confidence and people are attracted to confident people. For instance: You and a few co-workers may go out after work for Happy Hour. Note: You always seem to find something when you’re not looking for it. This also applies in love.

Starting afresh in the dating world can feel risky but once you take the plunge chances are you’ll have fun. Just because you had a broken heart yesterday doesn’t mean there is no paradise! Sure, you make take a few wrong turns in the road, but once you get to your destination, those wrong turns will have been worth it.

This post was developed by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find thousands of helpful dating posts. You are welcome to reprint this article – but get your own unique content version here.

I read an article recently that talked about women asking men out. Men appeared to find it flattering and some even seemed to prefer it. Unfortunately, when I put words into practice I failed miserably.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a liberal woman, and I believe in equal rights. I feel that it’s okay to ask a man out. Why not? I mean, what could it hurt? However, I had never asked a man out myself. No male species that crossed my path thus far induced the drive to even consider initiating more than a mere conversation.

Of course that was bound to change, and it did. Early in my career I was on temporary assignment at a law firm. On my very first day I met “Adam”, a gorgeous, poised Associate Attorney. Though I was struck by his looks, I didn’t really give him much thought; the work took all my concentration.

Over the next few days I’d catch him looking at me with more than professional interest. He’d make excuses to come to my desk and silently flirt. My only conclusion is that he was interested in getting to know me.

I wasn’t really sure what to do at first, but when I realized that the attraction went both ways the solution was simple. I was only going to be there for two more days, so I had to act fast. On my last day there, I gently pulled him aside and asked him out for lunch.

Given our obvious attraction to each other I was stunned when he hesitated in responding. Then he said he’d “get back to me”. Well, lunch time came and went and suffice to say I ate alone. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed he had to work through lunch.

Before departing for the day, I left him a voice mail message that included my home phone number. The plan was to wait until he called me. A week passed, and I heard nothing. I didn’t want to become a pest so I gave up my quest. Obviously, I had read this gentleman wrong or maybe he was just one of the few men who did not like women who made the first move. Maybe he was just a very flirtatious.

=Whatever the reason for his lack of response, I’m now a bit more tentative about making the first move. Although Associate Attorney wasn’t exactly rude, his lack of response basically had the same effect. I’d rather hear a white lie like “I’m seeing someone” or “I’m gay” than the wall of silence I did encounter.

Maybe guys really do like women who make the first move and maybe I just picked the wrong guy for my initiation. Chances are I’ll do it again, but I’ll make sure of his interest. Let’s face it no one likes rejection. So all you women out there who want to take the bull by the horns, good luck!

This article was developed by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find hundreds of professional dating articles. You are welcome to reprint this article – but get your own unique content version here.

I’d bet my bottom dollar that Brangelina doesn’t have this problem! Let’s face it, both Angelina and Brad are exceptionally good looking people. They have the votes from magazines and gossip websites around the world to prove it.

Even if they were single, they would have more than enough suitors after them and would have it easy and may not have to consider internet dating as a resource unless they chose to do so.

Good looking people get attention, there’s no getting away from that. And when two good looking people are dating, the attention drawn their way doubles. So what would happen if you were to date a drop dead gorgeous someone? Would your insecurities surface or would you cope just fine?

I’m an average looking gal. My friends describe me as “cute in a girl next door kinda way”. And most of the men I’ve dated are average looking as well, with one exception. This guy was so good looking I sometimes wondered what the heck he was doing with me! Women and men both drooled over this guy’s appearance.

But when we were out together, people looked at him, not at me. It wasn’t something I was used to. We didn’t date for long and although I was sad when we broke up, I was happy the relationship was over. I was simply too insecure to date someone better looking than myself.

Now what he looked like should really not have mattered. He was simply a person looking for love and he actually liked me for who I was. Clearly, he found me attractive however, the problem was not him. It was me. I had fantasized about the guy with the movie star looks as a teen, but when it became a reality I had no idea what to do with him. It is as though, I could not relax and just enjoy the moment. He was fun to be with and loved to play practical jokes, but somehow the looks were an issue.

Now that I’m older of course I realize how silly I was back then. Although looks are the first thing we notice when we meet someone it’s personality and common interests that will take a relationship to the next level.

Well life has given me a second chance. I’m currently seeing someone even better looking than before (who knew that it was even possible?). Now when we hold hands in public and the ladies swoon, I smile, and mean it. My guy is as handsome in the inside as he is on the outside. And I’m secure enough in my own strengths that his looks just aren’t an issue.

This article was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find thousands of helpful dating articles. Get a totally unique version of this article from our article submission service